Morale: The Chief Master Sergeant

This is in a Chuck Norris kind of vein, he was Air Force you know!

The Chief Master Sergeant
The Chief Master Sergeant doesn’t sleep with a night-light. The Chief Master Sergeant isn’t afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of the Chief Master Sergeant.
The Chief Master Sergeant’s tears can cure cancer.
The Chief Master Sergeant has counted to infinity . . . twice!
The Chief Master Sergeant frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just never his own.
Superman owns a pair of Chief Master Sergeant pajamas.
The Chief Master Sergeant has never paid taxes. He just sends in a blank form and includes a picture of himself.
If the Chief Master Sergeant is late, then time had darn well better slow down.
The Chief Master Sergeant actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him.
The Chief Master Sergeant refers to himself in the fourth person.
The Chief Master Sergeant can divide by zero.
If the Chief Master Sergeant ever calls your house, be in!
The Chief Master Sergeant doesn’t leave messages; he leaves warnings.
The Chief Master Sergeant can slam a revolving door.
The Chief Master Sergeant was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry, he transforms into the Chief Master Sergeant.
When the Chief Master Sergeant exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Bullets dodge the Chief Master Sergeant.
The first solar eclipse took place after the Chief Master Sergeant challenged the sun to a staring contest. The sun blinked first.
The Real Chief Master Sergeant never used a question mark in his entire life. He believes that the interrogative tense is a sign of weakness.
Real Chief Master Sergeants do not have any civilian clothes.
There is no such thing as gravity. The Chief Master Sergeant just ordered everything to stay put.
Real Chief Master Sergeants do not remember any time they weren’t Chief Master Sergeants.
Real Chief Master Sergeants don’t know how to tell civilian time.
Real Chief Master Sergeants call each other ‘Chief Master Sergeant.’
Real Chief Master Sergeants’ greatest fear is signing for property book items.’
Real Chief Master Sergeants have pictures of DC-3s in their wallets.
Real Chief Master Sergeants do not own any pens that do not have ‘Property of U.S. Government’ on them.
Real Chief Master Sergeants do not get the mandatory flu shots.
Real Chief Master Sergeants do not order supplies, they swap for them. (Amen, brother)
Real Chief Master Sergeants favorite quote was stolen, paraphrased then used in the movie Ben Hur, ‘We keep you alive to serve this “command”.’ (They said “boat” instead of command – Navy, go figure…)
Real Chief Master Sergeants think excessive modesty is their only fault.
Real Chief Master Sergeants hate to write evaluations, except for their own.
Real Chief Master Sergeants turn in a 4 page brag sheet for their evaluation.
Real Chief Master Sergeants’ last station was always better.
Real Chief Master Sergeants know that the black tar in their coffee cup makes the coffee taste better.
Real Chief Master Sergeants idea of heaven: Three good 2Lts and a Wing Officer who does what he is told.
Real Chief Master Sergeants think John Wayne would have made a good Chief Master Sergeant, if he had not gone soft and made Marine movies.
Real Chief Master Sergeants use the term ‘Good Training’ to describe any unpleasant task such as cleaning out fuel bladders or having to sleep on your parachute and gear bag in the parking lot, because there was no room in the barracks.